Christmas...hmmmm

Here we find ourselves again, the holiday season creeping upon us. It is a time where Christians of countless denominations and cults gather together with family and friends to celebrate the love and happiness we have as we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. It is a time usually filled with joy and happiness. Unfortunately, there are people who do not enjoy the holidays and even see it at a dismal time to be alive. Christmas and the holidays can bring many us together and can tear others apart. Family and friends who have been nearly beside themselves in joyful anticipating for the reunion with ones they cherish, others foresee these times as the unfortunate reunion with those who they may have avoiding for most of the year, whether it be because of differences in personality, opinion, or background. The holidays can bring on the most challenging of depressions. I do not mention these things to put a damper in the holiday spirit, but as acknowledgement of reality.

I can only assume that the reason I am able to see such things and discuss them in an unbiased point of view, is that I have experienced in my youth a hatred for the holiday season. Strong word I know. There was nothing I wanted more than escape the pressures of being surrounded by people I believed did not want my company. I guess it could be something of an inferiority complex that impeded my ability to properly interact with others. I don't know if anyone ever realized just how lonely and miserable I was surrounded by so many happy faces. I often spent most of the uncomfortable season cooking in the kitchen and mixing drinks. The more I did, the less time I would have to spend, awkwardly trying to make conversation with other, not knowing what to say. It was very difficult for me. But, I did become pretty good at cooking and mixing drinks although I probably seemed a little anti-social at times.

Things are not the same anymore. I better understand my person and who I want to be. It can be very difficult at times to have a positive outlook with those little demons in my head, trying to take control and send me into a reclusive state. But most times now, I am able to enjoy the company of others and find more joy than anguish during the holidays. I have decided to talk about this today because it is a reality. I understand that my situation differs from any other situation out there and that every person has his or her demons to try and conquer. There are those who have lost their loved ones; those who argue and cannot seem to reconcile; those who let their own insecurities take control of their person. The holidays can bring out both the best and, regrettably, the worst in people. But, even with all the sadness, there is joy and hope and to all I want to send this message for the Holidays.

I wish to all those I know and love a very Merry Christmas and a splendid New Year. May those of you who search for answers find solutions; those of you who search for love, find a warm soul to keep you company; those who seek help, find the goodness of humanity; those who have a need, be filled with the fuel they need to continue to live; and to those who seek change, may you find solace your past and in those around you so that they may help and guide you into a more fulfilling future.

Well, maybe I'm a little too intrinsic today...

-SkEEtEr-