What a way to start a year...

Well, my wife and I had a very great Christmas and New Year. From the minute we got back from our trip to Puerto Vallarta Mexico, it was full throttle, go go go...The wedding that we helped organize the weekend after we got back turned out very nice and elegant. Then our Christmas shopping turned out being lots of fun this year. We decided not to buy anything for ourselves (Mexico was enough!!!) so we spoiled our nieces and nephew and even went a little over the limit on some other gifts! :) But what goes around comes around I guess, because we ended up getting some pretty nifty and beautiful gifts. But the nicest thing about Christmas was finding out that we were expecting a baby!

On the 24th, we finally talked to each other about our speculations. Something was amiss, but we weren’t sure. We decided that we should purchase a home pregnancy test. But, as it was Christmas eve, and late in the day at that, all the nearby stores were closed. So we resolved to try and conceal our excitement and we would go get a test first thing after Christmas on the 26th. With a stroke of luck, I came across an extra test we had purchased earlier in the year the afternoon of the 25th, so we wouldn't need to run to the store.

My wife was a little sneaky though. The morning of the 26th, she informed me that she had forgotten to take the test with her to the bathroom in the morning, and we would have to wait until the next morning. But my little bugger of a spouse did in fact take the test and didn't tell me the results until suppertime! But I forgave her immediately. We were very exited. This made the rest of the holiday week really joyous. Our speculations confirmed, we figured that she was about 2 1/2 months pregnant...cool. But we would have to wait until the ultrasound to get a better idea.

Well, unfortunately the thrill was short lived. The ultrasound on January 2nd discovered nothing in the uterus...what could this mean? There seemed to be something in the left fallopian tube though. The pregnancy was in trouble; possibly ectopic (which is a fancy way of saying a tubal pregnancy.) That was one of two options. The other was that we were less than 5 weeks pregnant...highly unlikely. So the doctors spoke to us of the usual symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy. A predominant symptom is that the woman experiences constant pain on one side of her abdomen. So, because it was still undetermined, we would closely monitor my wife’s pregnancy over the next couple of weeks; blood-work every second day and an ultrasound every week. These showed that her hCG was still climbing and as there was no pain, we speculated another rare scenario where the gestational sack does not show on an ultrasound until much later. Also, the doctors did not want to risk a possible healthy pregnancy by cutting in to see if she was ectopic.

Our hopes rose as the week went along as she still felt no pain and her hCG was still climbing. But, late last Monday night, my wife began having serious stomach and menstrual like pain all night. Her skin turned a grim shade of green and she was so nauseous she could not stand up without collapsing. This pain seemed similar to previous pain she experienced, but we should have acted sooner when the pain got worse. What is even scarier, is that we waited another couple hours after the stomach pain subsided, and a sharp pain started radiating across the muscles in her body, primarily in her back and shoulder's until it was so bad she couldn't lie down.

Come early morning, we got into my truck and sped our way down the 75km stretch of highway to the hospital, fighting to beat the incoming blizzard.

First the ultrasound; still nothing in the uterus and there is so much fluid in her belly that the lab tech is unable to see her ovaries. An immediate transfer to emergency and my wife is first on the list. We're not sure what is going on. As I watch the lab tech talk to the doctor, I can see tears well in her eyes. This is unnerving but not as much as being next on the list...never a good sign when I'm used to waiting a couple hours to see a doctor.

He is a straight forward, genuine man. With empathy, he informs us of what they know. They are certain the fluid in her belly is blood caused by a rupture in the fallopian tube, the pregnancy is in fact ectopic and blood is surging into her. This explains the pain across her back and shoulders as blood is an irritant and affects the nerves. They are uncertain which tube is ruptured, but suspect it is the left one based on the previous ultrasound. The physician informs us there is a surgeon on hand. He comes and speaks with us of the seriousness of her situation. She will require an emergency surgery to save her life. The situation is critical and a transfer cannot be risked. Unfortunately there is no hope to save the baby an the damaged tube will likely be removed.

Time is of the essence as blood is building in her stomach, appling more and more pressure against her organs. The surgeon has dealt with such operations before, an adaptation of a caesarean section. She is next in line for the operating room. I hold her hand, trying to comfort her and not show my own fears. I need to be strong for her. The doctors advised us of the inherent risks, and she cries, terrified that she will not to wake from the procedure. I fear it too.

Come noon, seven hours after the rupture, she is finally wheeled into the OR. I stay at her side until I can no longer follow to comfort her. The nurses take over. She screams as the burning pain sears the muscles in her body. Tears roll down the cheeks of one nurse who holds her like a small child as others struggle to restrain her so they can administer the anaesthetic. Finally sedated, the surgeon begins the intricate exploit to save her life.

Fighting the blood pooling in her abdomen, fervently draining and searching for the ruptured artery, they fear they may be too late. A litre of blood is removed, 20% of her total supply....

...another pint collected, drained...the rupture is still lost under the cover of dark plasma…the surgical team prepares for an emergency transfusion…

...finally a stroke of luck, the artery is located and pinched. The flow is slowed to a near stop. They are able to clear enough liquid to begin the final task at hand, but we’re not out of the woods yet. The surgeon locates the damaged tube. It is in fact the left fallopian which has been breached by the gestational sack. Both must be removed. The artery is then sealed and the stitching is done. She has lost nearly two litres of blood…

She is groggy from the impressive cocktail of narcotics and anaesthetics. As they wheel her towards her room, I am finally comforted by her calm breathing, although still shallow. Through her ghostly white complexion, she tells us she feels like shit. No kidding!

Finally settled in her room, the important transfusion of blood is begun to rebuild some of her haemoglobin which has reached near fatal levels. The next 36 hours are critical.

But she is alive, thank God for that.

We spend three days in the hospital. I sleep on a small cot that is not quite as wide as my shoulders, but I sleep well, my mind eased knowing I have not lost my wife and that we will, eventually, be able to try and have children again. The doctor informs us we have done nothing wrong. It is unknown why such things happen and 1 in 25 pregnancy are unfortunetely ectopic.

My wife has found a positive attitude through this ghastly affair. Even though we lost a baby, she has survived. This is not the year a child a was lost, but the year her life was saved; the year she could live and laugh again (even though it hurts to laugh right now!)

I still sometimes find myself saddened by the thought of our loss. But I cannot linger on what may have been; it is not healthy. I keep my mind busy with toughts of the future, because there will be one. I find joy in the fact that my wife was saved and faith that we will have another shot at having children.

It’s a sunny day today, my wife is resting at home in our bed and all seems to be mending itself. On a day like today, it is easy to find hope.

-SkeeTeR-